Hamilton

We're headed for Hamilton today, be back Tuesday. This picture is
from the Conservatory there, at the Botanical Gardens. Have a great
weekend!

X-rays and brain tumor connection

Because my mother had the same kind of brain tumor I have, I worry that a sensitivity to X-rays might be a possible cause of my meningioma and worry that I should avoid X-rays, but I have a toothache. The dentist wants to give me X-rays. :-(

If interested, see study below.

Lancet Oncology 2007; 8:403-410

DOI:10.1016/S1470-2045(07)70107-9

Articles

Genetic predisposition for the development of radiation-associated meningioma: an epidemiological study

Pazit Flint-Richter PhD a and Dr Siegal Sadetzki MD email address a b Corresponding Author Information

Summary

Background

Ionising radiation is an established risk factor for meningioma, yet less than 1% of irradiated individuals develop this tumour. Familial aggregation of meningioma is rare. We aimed to assess whether genetic factors can modify the risk for meningioma formation after the initiating effect of radiation, by comparison of the frequency of meningiomas in families that included irradiated and unirradiated siblings.

Methods

This study was based on a larger epidemiological, genetic case-control study, and included 525 families that were divided according to irradiation and disease status of each of the family's index participant: 160 had radiation-associated meningioma (RAM); 145 were irradiated and did not develop meningioma; 85 had meningioma with no previous history of irradiation; and 135 were unirradiated and did not develop meningioma. Data were collected by questionnaires.

Findings

We found additional first-degree relatives with meningioma in 17 families (11%) in the RAM group, whereas only between one and two such families (1%) were found in the other groups (p<0·0001). p="0·04)." color="yellow">Interpretation

This dataset of families, which included irradiated and unirradiated, and also affected and unaffected family members, created a natural experiment. Our results support the idea that genetic susceptibility increases the risk of developing meningioma after exposure to radiation. Further studies are needed to identify the specific genes involved in this familial sensitivity to ionising radiation. DNA repair and cell-cycle control genes, such as the ataxia-telangiectasia gene, could be plausible candidates for investigation.

Affiliations

a. Cancer and Radiation Epidemiology Unit, Gertner Institute, Chaim Sheba Medical Center, Tel Hashomer, Israel

another study, another study,

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Dead on the aviary floor

Boss Girl at the museum has called a meeting and I am arguing with her. I have too much to do. I have this huge oppressive weight of tasks, and I haven't done the animal care yet. She insists I must come; I insist I must do my work. The argument gets heated and now I am at the meeting, which is boring and useless and stealing time from what needs to be done. I slip away to the basement to the animal care area. I have been so busy that I haven't made it down here in a long time and things are in a shambles. Three of the rare and precious birds lay dead on the aviary floor. I poke at them gently to be sure they are dead, though a bird on it's side on the ground seems unlikely to be alive. Their bright colors are dimmed and dimming. I pick them up and cradle them in my hands, feeling grief and anger.

As absurd as if seems (and is), I feel like Atlas holding up the sky. And failing, being crushed under the weight of it.

Could this dream—as is—really happen? It could happen, but it unlikely to as dreamed. It is very much like what life at the museum used to be! But, now, in my current life, it is an obvious allegory. And it relates to the elephant dream. I have a continuing perception that I am overwhelmed with too may petty and enormous tasks and I am not doing what is important and that my precious birds (hopes and dreams) are dying.

Some of these tasks (elephants) that are consuming my time include:

Ø Getting the two cell phones back on-line

Ø The issue with the car registration and the threat to suspend my license

Ø Adopting Piano Boy(this is not petty but very overwhelming to me)

Ø The parental estate (this is not petty, but very overwhelming—hopefully soon to be over)

Ø My health issues, insomnia, sleep apnea, brain tumor etc and all the tests and doctoring associated with them.

The dying birds include:

Ø All my unattended novel and book manuscripts from Weeds, to Sissy, to Herpetologist etc

Ø and my poetry manuscripts

Ø and my dreams of being closer to nature

Some of my problems are real, external to myself, and not entirely under my control. Some of them are caused by:

Ø my ADHD, my distractibility (this is real and needs to somehow be dealt with!)

Ø my "low Gemini" tendencies to want to do too much and to take on more than I can handle. I need to say no to others and myself when my plate gets too full.

Ø my procrastination of difficult or overwhelming tasks. I need to plunge in and take small steps.

Still Getting Moved (Attempting to tie up hundreds of loose ends)

Swan on Lake St. Clair, by me

070920, 4:28 PM I am walking down St. Clair Drive toward St. Clair Lake while Graham has his theory lesson. It's pretty warm, maybe 80, the sun is shining from a cloudless sky, a small breeze blows in off the lake, the crickets are singing. Graham slept most of the way in the car. I drove him here, a half hour here, an hour wait, and a half hour home again, because Biker Buddy is at work.

There are sunflowers flowering, but I can't photograph them because they're in someone's yard. Cicadas are singing, not as many or as loud as August, but still here. Squirrels running this way and that with acorns, cars and trucks rumbling by, the stink of exhaust.

At home, I am trying to settle in and complete my move

I spent over an hour today trying to straighten out what's become an ordeal of car registration and insurance. I'd also worked on it yesterday and several other days. I'd received a threatening letter saying that my insurance in NY on my car had been cancelled and that I needed to show proof of insurance within ten days or my license and registration would be suspended.

It said I could do it on-line, but when I tried, I could not. I didn't have on my insurance form the number they required to complete the transaction on-line to I tried calling them yesterday and then again today. I was on hold on a long distance call for almost half an hour before I even got to talk to anyone.

I have to say this: the woman I spoke to was kind, sympathetic, and helpful, but she couldn't help me. New York State requires NYS insurance. My Michigan insurance doesn't qualify. But my New York insurance company does not insure in Michigan.

I need to get the car registered in Michigan (and fast--because the letter says they will suspend the license and registration in ten days.

But in order to register in Michigan, I need my NY state registration and the title to the car. I had the title to the car in hand one of the times I was bringing boxes to Michigan from NY and I placed it at the top of one of those boxes and clearly labeled it, "Contains Title to Car".

Of course, I brought hundreds of other boxes and have not been able to unpack anything because Biker Budduy's house is full of his stuff, Piano Boy's stuff and Past Lady's stuff. There is no room for me.

So the boxes, hundreds of them sit in piles all over the house. Still packed. And Biker Buddy carefully recorded the contents of the first 2/3 of the boxes or more, but we've both read over the lists and can't find the box labeled "Car title." on the list and we can't find the actual box either.

I didn't take care of it right away because Biker Buddy told me, "If you need something, tell me, and I'll find it." Foolishly, I believed him. I looked in all the places I could think of. I didn't want to spend the money for a new title when I KNEW I'd packed the old one. But where? I wanted to keep looking, but time is running out.

So finally, today, I waited well over an hour on the phone altogether ordering a new title. That's done, but I'm not out of the woods yet. When it comes, I still have to get the car registered in Michigan and THEN, I have to call or send NY proof of that registration because if I don't, they'll suspend my NY license and since Michigan reciprocates, I won't be able to drive. So it's not over yet.

At least I'll have a little break from it while I am waiting for the title to arrive.

I had a similar hassle trying to get my Michigan driver's license.

And it's been a huge hassle trying to get my address changed on everything and so far, I am striking out more often than I'm succeeding. I call the number of someplace where I need to change my address and I don't get a real person, I get a menu, and the menu options go on and on and none of them seem right. I spent over an hour on the phone listening to menus and speaking to no one trying to change my address with GM and FAILED. So I have to start over sometime after I recover from the ordeal of it. I HATE automated menus on phones. It's so un-user friendly, so unfriendly and unhelpful.

So, in addition to the car registration, I have to revisit the GM thing and I have a folder with about ten or 15 other places I still need to call. And each one now takes an hour or more. They don't provide you with an address you can simply send an address form to. They don't give you a person you can speak to' you have to fight your way through endless menus and then people look at you like you have three heads when you say you haven't yet managed to get all your addresses changed. But no one volunteers to HELP.

Well one, person did, I won't mention any names. He said he'd call for me to that one place, GM, but he never did. I can't really complain, because there are zillions of things I should be doing but amn't. OH, He says he did call and couldn't find his way through the menus. Sorry.

I know, I know, amn't is not a proper contraction, but why not. I am NOT. Amn't.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 I finally got my title and am waiting in the Secretary of state office for a turn to hopefully get my car registered in Michigan. Then I will have to deregister in NY or I will lose my license. In both places.

I also have to change my Tracfone cell phone so it has a local Michigan # and not a NY number. And close my bank accounts in NY and move them here, did I say that? I can't believe what a continuing ordeal this is.

The name-change thing may be biting me. I had to return something to Adobe (another huge hassle) and I had to fax various things and some had one name (Taitt) and some had the other (Stebbins), so I am waiting to find out if that will turn into an ordeal or not.

Late breaking news: I finally have my plates and registration. They have to be attached and distributed and I have to surrender my NY plates etc, or I'll lose both licenses, but I'm one small step closer. YAY!

September 29, 2007 And I finally sent off the info to NY State to prevent them, hopefully, from suspending my driver's license. And I just activated a new credit card with my correct name and address. This has taken several tries as the first card they sent had my new last name spelled wrong and there were several problems before that. I still have cards with the wrong name and/or address. Lots more still to do.

October 20, 2007, it’s a month from when I started writing about this, and it’s STILL not settled! I got a second notice from NY threatening to suspend my driver’s license because of suspended NY insurance. I’d already sent in the proofs and received a receipt for them, and had to do that all over again. The envelope with the new copies of the proofs is sitting in the door slot waiting for the mailman to take it away. IF it isn’t settled and they revoke my NY driver’s license, I will also lose my Michigan license and will not be able to drive. BUT THEY SENT A RECEIPT! What’s with that? I feel as if I am just treading water and making no progress here, a YEAR after I moved, but actually sinking rather than swimming.

Murphy and NPR

Why is there ALWAYS something GOOD on NPR when I am about to step into the shower or leave to walk and something BAD on (like fund -raising) when I am dressing beside the radio or washing dishes and able to listen?

I must be a WIMP

Open Wide! They said it wouldn't hurt, but it did. They said the cement was "soothing," but it was painful. I had the second, "easy" portion of my crown work done today. Ouch! It still hurts!

Sometimes I Hate Michigan

Sometimes I Hate Michigan, and Biker Buddy gets all defensive as if I hate him. I don't. I wouldn't be here if I did. But on the other hand, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him, so maybe it is his fault.

The latest thing is Columbus Day. At home in NY, we always got Columbus Day off and it was an annual trip to Maine to visit my brother, ever year, year after year, a tradition. Here, no holiday, no trip, nothing. :-(

He doesn't care and doesn't understand. After all, it's not his traditions that are being lost, along with contact with family and friends. His family is here.

Two good things about Michigan: no tolls on the highways (HATE the NY THRUWAY!) and the taxes are better. NY has the second worst state and local taxes in the nation, only DC is worse. Michigan is #24.

Insomnia and Apnea

I had a pretty bad night last night. I was awake a great deal. A LOT! (At least I didn’t get up.) Worse yet, I had an apnea event! VERY SCARY and upsetting! AND the CPAP was ON and running, which was even more scary and upsetting. I think my fear of apnea events (which could kill me, and which deprive me of oxygen and can kill brain cells and make me stupid) may affect my insomnia (though I still think food sensitivity is the primary cause of the insomnia. Lack of sleep makes me stupid, too! I also wonder if the WINE I had last night may have affected the sleep apnea event. (?) (By relaxing the muscles in the tongue and throat. That’s why I am not supposed to drink at night.)

Prickly, bloated and a target for Murphy

Prickly, bloated and a target for Murphy--that's how I feel sometimes! :-(

INSOMNIA AGAIN, insomnia report

Self-portrait of the artist as an Insomniac #070822br1-567: Separated from Sleep

This is probably really boring, but I am trying to correlate my insomnia with other things to see if I can determine a cause and change my behavior accordingly:

Insomnia Report, 8/22/07I went to bed at 11:38 and got up again without having fallen asleep at 12:15 AM, feeling "restless and agitated." Neither of those adjectives are quite on target. I felt a sense of "pressure to move and dislike of laying still." A sense of having to get up and move. I got up and did some things I was feeling guilty about not having done (eg: unloaded the dishwasher and put the dishes away (I did not help with that earlier because I needed to sit after the walk), collected a few things for the trip to California, etc). I returned to bed at 3:30 AM feeling tired but not sleepy. I eventually fell asleep and woke up about 7:30, feeling neither relaxed nor sleepy. Lay there for almost an hour trying to sleep again and gave up. Got up around 8:25 AM. I am estimating my sleep at 3.75 hours but it may actually have been less.

My insomnia was correlated with: a late walk, a tiny bit of dairy (1/2 tsp sour cream inadvertently licked from a spoon (old habits die hard)), mild IBS, binge eating (I ate some cheerios after I put away the dishes with rice milk)(I have not done any binge eating for a while--this came after, not before the insomnia state began), raisins, an earlier brief episode of anger that followed the raisins, an earlier brief episode of depression that followed on the heels of the anger, guilt and worry, beet sugar, eggs, corn, oats, garlic.

My insomnia was NOT correlated with: beef, crawly skin, itchier than normal skin, worse than normal bad neck and arm, eating out, eating at someone else's house, bad asthma or hay fever, soy, nuts (not the previous day, but two days before), apples, onions or shallots, nightshades, legumes.