There Was a Little Girl
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I used to hear this a lot as a child, and also this one:
Mary Mary, quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
It was the quite contrary part my mother or father was referring to, of course.
Someone called me a drama queen. I was always accused of exaggerating, and I probably did. And do. But I also think I feel and experience things more deeply than other people do. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but also my laughter, my pain, my tears, my anger, and everything else.
I am "oversensitive." But you can't just tell someone who is oversensitive to "get over it," and expect them to suddenly be normal. I can't switch it on and off. It seems to be hardwired into who I am.
The reason I am writing this is because I read somewhere that bright lights help you reset your biological clock AND my doctor Muna Beeai suggested that I get a "blue light" for depression and insomnia. I haven't done so yet. But what I've been doing is going outside and sitting in the sun for 20 minutes when I first get up--I do my exercises, meditate, draw, paint, read, whatever. But this morning, my quiet neighborhood is suddenly transformed into Busytown!!! I sat in the backyard which is usually really quiet and peaceful--and cherish, truly cherish, peace and quiet--and there was ll this banging, crashing, sawing, hammering, loud radios, cell phones, yelling vices. A team of carpenters is putting a new roof on the neighbor's house. So I went out front. There was a crew of people working on the road and another wheeling wheelbarrows full of dirt to another neighbor's yard. Construction come home!
I am very sensitive to load noises; they really disturb me. The vacuum cleaner sends me into paroxysms of panic, and has since I was very young. It's worse if soemone else is doing it--I can deal with it better if I am doing it.
BUT. not much better, which is an issue for me. I tried to sit it out and ignore it, but I was getting tenser and tenser. Soon my shoulders were up around my ears and starting to HURT. I had to give it up and go inside. I can still hear the pounding and sawing in here, but not so intensely.
So, I am contrary, oversensitive, easily disturbed. Sometimes horrid. And loving, cheery, intelligent and creative. AK!