Monday, June 15, 2009

Packing for our trip:

Packing for our trip:

I just finished, finally, packing (just) my clothes for the trip to NY, Maine and New Hampshire.  It's 12:30 PM and to be sure, I did my exercises and fed the birds and sat in the back yard with Eager, not knowing if I'd ever have the chance again.  But still, since I had previously started gathering things, it seemed to take an inordinate length of time, running up stairs and down, to the basement, to the living room, back to the bedroom etc, to gather everything that was needed.  I was collecting stuff--mainly clothing so far, for BB and for myself.  I have NOT been online, not checked my email or the weather or anything, so where has the morning gone?  Am I the slowest person on earth?  When BB packs, he opens two drawers, counts out x number of socks, underwear and T-shirts, x being the number of days we're going, grabs a spare pair of jeans, and stuff them in a bag--voila, done!  Except, lately, to save him even that time and free him for putting air in tires, oil in the engine of the car and mowing the lawn, etc, I've been doing it for him.  Most of it anyway,  though, for me, nothing is ever that simple!  AK!

I did charge my camera batteries and downloaded the pix on the cards and cleared the cards (all except Giovanna's, which I have forgotten to do--and which I just went and did), but I did all that, except the one, yesterday.  I did locate and print poems and pictures, but likewise yesterday.  Today, all I accomplished so far besides hugging a squirrel, exercises and breakfast was packing the clothes.  Why am I so SLOW?  I hate it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009



I'd been feeling somewhat better for a while, then worse, and yesterday morning and early afternoon, I was fairly good, then BAM, got very bad, bad fibro pain and a terrible night.  The fibro pain was extreme at times and I unable to move or walk, and since I was out and walking on my way to dinner, for our anniversary, I had to stop and wait for the pain--fibro and IBS--to pass.  Then walk, then wait, then walk, then wait.  This was followed by an agitated night and insomnia.

I just realized the probable cause:  alfalfa sprouts that I had with my lunch.  I am not certain of this, of course, BUT it seems quite likely.  Alfalfa is a legume, and the two things that seem to affect me worst are dairy products and legumes.

However, I must admit that I have lately been having worse insomnia again, and that was NOT related to alfalfa.

Another bad night

I did NOT have a good night last night.

I was furious at BB and PB--at Piano Boy for not doing his practicing and at BB for not doing anything about it.  Over the summer we asked for 15 minutes a day when he is home and he will be away for two two week periods starting shortly.  15 minutes is not that much out of 24 HOURS and he says he wants to be a musician.  And I am the step mother so BB needs to step up to the plate and at least make a reasonable attempt to induce him to practice, which he did not.

It was too hot in the house and I don't sleep well when I am angry.  I wish I did not get SO angry when other people are idiots.  This was the 4th or 5th night of bad sleep and my fibro is getting worse and worse.

It seems to me that PB does not really want to be a musician--if he really did, practicing would be fun and important to him.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Not Sleeping, Again

Not Sleeping, Again

After a period of sleeping somewhat better and feeling somewhat better, I am now in my third night of insomnia and getting increasingly tired.  I'm annoyed and sad to be awake after 2 AM.  I want to be asleep!  I want to be asleep now.

I don't know what causes the insomnia to go away or to come back, but I do know that when I have it, it messes up my life.  I get cranky and irritable, I'm tired and get less done, I feel rotten, my fibromyalgia gets worse.

I'm inclined to blame it on diet, but can't pinpoint what.  I had white bread and garlic today in the spaghetti.  I had dairy yesterday, not much, but a little.  I've been eating bread.

BB tries to blame it on worry.

I am worried, but not horribly.  I am worried about:

  • BB's job/our financial security
  • the mess
  • the Rolandale house
  • the squirrel
  • Donna/Donna's death/the celebration
  • my writing projects/getting done/getting published
  • my aging and health
  • my feeling overwhelmed (a result, in part, of not getting enough sleep!)
  • my diet
  • my insomnia! (AK!) (Vicious circle!)

I'm going to try to go back to bed.  If I am still awake a half hour after I go to bed, I may get back up--I'm not just awake, I'm agitated.  Sometimes, I'm awake, but can lie there relaxed and rest--that's better than being agitated and unable to lie still.


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