Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Keith hard at work while camping

Keith hard at work while camping, by Mary Stebbins. Part of what I want today for my birthday, LOL! Posted by Picasa

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday and I am 60 today.  Miraculously, knock on wood, I have almost no pain in spite of the fact that I ate out last night.  We ate at Applebee's with relatives of Keith's.  I had a grilled shrimp and spinach salad and a virgin pina colada.

My normal fibromylagia pain places don't hurt, my neck and shoulders don't hurt, and I don't have a headache.

I got some nice birthday greetings.

I was a little disappointed to discover no mushrooms and no poultry sausage for my morning omelette, but there was frozen sliced ham from some family affair, and I made a yummy ham, broccoli and fake cheese omelette for breakfast.

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Coyote Moonlight

Coyote Moonlight, by Mary Stebbins/ Click image to view larger. Posted by Picasa

Balancing the CPAP Equation

Things I hate about the CPAP:
  1. I get tangled in the tubing, which is uncomfortable
  2. It's hard to sleep with something stuck on your face
  3. it's hard to sleep with air blowing on you, and/or blowing in your eyes
  4. it hisses
  5. it restricts my motion
  6. it wakes me up every time I turn or move because I get tangled or it becomes dislodged
  7. I have to take it with me everywhere, pack and unpack it, set it up
  8. I can't go wilderness camping any more or sleep out at silk creek
  9. I have to go to two sets of appointments every 3-6 months
  10. I have to have regular all night sleep studies and it's hard to sleep in a lab with all those wired taped to my scalp etc
  11. the parts are expensive (ridiculously so)
Things I like about the CPAP:
  1. It helps keep me alive.
  2. I feel somewhat better when I use it.

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Jagged Nights

Jagged Nights, by Mary Stebbins/ An attempt at expressing what insomnia feels like. Posted by Picasa

Re: What constitutes an emergency?

On 5/25/06, Erin wrote:

Where did this "emergency-only" come from? I think you should take the Ambien more often, or look into the new sleep aid, Lunesta, if it will make you feel better! You need more and better sleep. It would help the fibro and all of your other ailments. I was chatting with a co-worker who has fibro, and she takes an anti-depressent that helps her sleep, which in turn helps her with her fibro. I know you had major troubles with that one you took, but there might be others that could help. I love you!

I wrote:

Emergency only came from my doctor. Ambien is addictive and my sleep doctor, Dr. Flintrop and his nurse practitioner have both told me repeatedly that taking sleeping pills is actually worse for you, generally, than not, for a variety of reasons. Good sleep does help fibro a lot, but sleeping pill sleep is not the same as real sleep--it disturbs the sleep cycles and you don't get the real restorative sleep you need. However, even bad sleep must be better than no sleep. I was so wired and restless last night that I didn't even lie down again until 4:05 and lay there wide awake until some time between 4:45 and 5 AM.

I read that sleep resets the appestat, too, good appropriate sleep, and helps prevent weight gain. (Never mind how exhausted you feel when you don't sleep! I feel like a walking zombie today. Bleah!)

I would say an emergency might be if I can't sleep again tomorrow night or the next night. To complicate things, we're going camping tomorrow for Memorial day weekend, and it's hard to sleep on the ground when you haven't been, especially the first few nights.

I read and heard on NPR that Ambien cases "sleep" walking and also sleep eating and sleep driving. One of those senators recently arrested said he was addicted to Ambien.

And I have so many allergies to meds (and other things) that I am afraid to try new drugs.

What constitutes an emergency?

I had trouble with my computer tonight.  I won't go into the annoying gory details, but I didn't get to bed until 12:28 PM.  I lay there utterly wide awake for almost an hour and I couldn't stand it.  I turned and thrashed and sweated and tossed and finally got back up.  I was bored out of my gourd and restless.  I couldn't stand lying there.

I had no coffee or stimulants today, no chocolate, tea, cola, peppermint and only the tiniest dusting of ginger on the supper's stirfry.  And the only thing I ate that is on my possible danger list is about 1/4 of a banana.  But I am utterly wide awake.

Now I have a choice:  stay up until I feel tired later or drop from exhaustion or take a sleeping pill, an Ambien CR.  I'm only supposed to take them in an emergency, but what constitutes an emergency?  Sitting up all night tired and wired and wasting time better spent sleeping so I can hopefully have a more productive day tomorrow?  Once I am up past bedtime one night like this, it throws my whole schedule and my productivity to the winds for days before I get back on schedule.  Is that an emergency?  What's an emergency?

I hate not being able to sleep!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

New Banner, Second Try

OK, now if you click on this image, you can see it "full size" (well, as big as reasonably possible on here. Any when it is the banner, it will be smaller than that! Posted by Picasa

New banner for this Blog!

I just created this new banner which now I will have to post. I hope you like it. Mary

I used my married name becase soon I will be married. YAY!

Click image to view larger. You will be able to see it larger than it will be once it becomes the banner for this site. Posted by Picasa

Monday, May 22, 2006

New Banner for Imagik attempt number 3

Rainbow Banner take 2

Rainbow banner

I am trying to learn how to make banners for my blogs. This is my second attempt at one. Click on image to view larger! Posted by Picasa

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Carton Creatures

My daughters, who are 30 and 31, made creatures out of milk cartons in preschool. Cute and colorful, with egg-carton eyes. They've lived for more than 25 years on the shelf of my bed. Today, because I am moving to a small, overcrowded house with no (insuffcient) room for me and my stuff, I carried my long-loved creatures out to the trash. And I feel heartbroken.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Geranium Moonlight

Geranium Moonlight, by Mary Stebbins. Click image to view larger. Posted by Picasa

one and a half down, 1,000,000,004.5 to go

Well, thought I had a billion things to do and I did one, but instead of going DOWN, the number went up!

I went over to Weggies to get food for my trip and while I was there, I got some food eat these last couple days before I leave and also some for my first few days in Detroit because we'll be busy with Sarah and Steve's wedding etc.

So now, on top of the 999,999,999 things I still had to do, I have to put away the food in the fridge etc, take it back out and pack it for Detroit, load it in the car, unload it, and put it away in Detroit.  At least, Keith may help me at that end.  It's half put away, so that's why the 1,000,000,004.5.


Well, it may seem funny, but sometimes, that's how I really feel!!!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Angels and Devils

Who are we, anyway?

visit us at IMAGIK. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Hamilton Beach House

Hamilton Beach House, by Mary Stebbins. Click on image to view larger.

This was taken near sunset, rather than sunrise, but I have no handy sunrise pictures and the view out my window is not that photogenic!

This, by the way, is recent, taken on my last trip back east this week, in spring, not fall. Posted by Picasa

Watching the sunrise

After a number of nights when I was up until 3:30 and 3 and 2:30 and 1 etc because couldn't sleep, I went to bed last night at 11 and and it didn't take me too too long to fall asleep. But then I was awake for a while at 3 and awake longer at four, after dozing, and at 5 I was awake and could get back to sleep so I got up and have been watching the sunrise. I love the progression of pinks and oranges, the gradual change of the light to yellow. I like being up early, I prefer it, in some ways. But I do wish I could SLEEP. I keep reading about how lack of sleep makes you stupid in both long and short term (how it can cause permanent brain damage), and how lack of sleep makes you fat. I want to sleep. I wish I could. Meanwhile, I'm watching the long shadows of morning grow gradually shorter.
I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats


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