Saturday, June 26, 2010


Finally I have lost 25 pounds since I started my diet!

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London

"A foolish faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth." Einstein, from a letter to a friend in 1901 when he was 22

"The fist is more than a sum of its fingers." Margaret Atwood

"Our truest responsibility to the irrationality of the world is to paint
or sing or write, for only in such response do we find the truth." ~Madeleine L'Engle

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
George S. Patton


Friday, June 25, 2010


On good days, I love laying in bed and hopefully sleeping in the morning, maybe half the time. on bad days, which seem to be more like 3/4 of the time, hate lying in bed at night--I get so restless and agitated I can't stand it!!!

I am up tonight with insomnia. Wahn!!

I don't know why some nights I can sleep and others I can't. I have a warning though--when I lie down, if I start hallucinating dream-like images while I'm awake, I probably will not sleep. Which happened tonight. Tired and wired, yawning like mad, but wide awake. And hungry!

  • was it the eight potato chips I ate at the end of dinner? Or the later than normal dinner?
  • was it the very late (but short) walk I took after 9:30 at night, about 15 minutes?
  • was it the worry of the day? The annoyance I felt with K and G? Or what? WHY?

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Counting Sheep

Counting Sheep


I force my body to lie still in the bed, tangle it with blankets

to tie it to the dark end of night, close my eyes,

and pretend to sleep, but inside my quiet legs,

my unquiet legs are running, running,

and the tattered moths my of eyes beat and beat

against the cage of my skull.


Somewhere, an invisible light keeps calling me,

a light I can't turn off, no matter how many times

I pull its chain.


I am as small as an ant.  I am a song in the wind.

Sleep holds its breath and counts and counts,

but there are never enough sheep, never enough

boring stories to fix me in the womb of darkness.

I tumble like a weed, a diaspore. I am an exploding star.

A memory rising from oblivion.  A haunting.




Mary Stebbins Taitt



Tuesday, June 08, 2010

My brain tumor today

I had my MRI today, here are the results.  The tumor has grown since
the last MRI.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Insomnia! OH! :-(

It's almost 3 AM and I haven't slept at all. I am up out of bed
becasue I was restless and agitated. An hour and a half ago, I took
two Tylenol PMs becasue my fibro pain was interfering with my
relaxing. It did NOT put me to sleep!

I had a normal breakfast of oatmeal and bran with rice milk, I had
shredded wheat and rice milk for lunch (not normal, but I've had it
recently without being up all night.), and for dinner, I had ntua
steaks (not normal) and a normal stir-fry. Veggies etc. Nothing

I did take my vitamins at dinner instead of breakfast and I did not
take any melatonin and haven't been for several days. I haven't had a
bad night like this for a little while.

Sometimes, it seems that if I am angry or uset, I can't sleep. But I
was not angry or upset. Not that I know of.

I don't know what causes it, but I hate it! :-(

I wasn't angry or upset before, but I am now. :-(


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