Wednesday, March 22, 2006


 Posted by Picasa

A good night

After a bad night the night before, I had a pretty good night last night, I'd say about an .8.5/10!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I don't know what to eat

After one almost good night, and feeling well yesterday, last night I felt terrible and couldn't sleep.

I keep trying to develop theories as to what causes the insomnia and fibromylagia (because I think they're related), but it is hard, because there are so many variables.  I think it is something I'm eating, but I'm not sure.

I ate:

  • oatmeal, raisins, ricemilk
  • pepperoni and oat cheese
  • beef broccli and zucchini stirfry, irish soda bread with ww flour, raisins, caraway seeds
I susect wheat, raisins, pepperoni (lactic acid  starter).  But I ate more pepperoni because I didn't know what else to eat for lunch--it wasn't even a eal lunch, just a little pepperoni and oat cheese.

I've eaten very little wheat (but I did eat half a leftover peiece of Irish soda bread with eggs for breakfast) today.  I have had only the few raisins tat were in the small piece of bread.  I'd go out and shop for soemthing else, but I don't even know what to get.

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Saturday, March 18, 2006


At the moment, my various afflictions are somewhat improved.  I'm sleeping better, my neck pain is improved, my fibro is improved, I am feeling cheerful and not cranky.  I am careful to say "At the Moment," because other times when I have reported feeling relatively well, I have had an immediate plunge into pain.

I don't know what is causing the improvement or what causes the pain, and find it confusing, but I'm grateful for the improvement.  :-)

Re: Mi Casa Su Casa

I lived in a house with black widows for a year--lots of black widows. They hung down in the doorways and in the middle of rooms on their gossamer strands. I had to be vigilant. I used to carry them outside in the summer, but in the winter, I just left them there and was careful. BUT I did not have any babies or small children.

I hope you open all the windows, as those toxic chemicals are harmful to breathe-could you stay away MORE that two hours?

On 3/17/06, laura wrote:

Hi Keith and Mary!
Talking about bugs I had the exterminators come twice in two weeks. I had them called because of small problems, ants and some spiders. Last year I had them come a few times to spray inside and out because of black widows, yes oh... we had them and they were putting eggs. I have not seen any recently just the odd spider here and there, but since I had them come for the ants might just well mention the spiders too. Yeah, with the rain here and there the ants began making our home their home (mi casa su casa). It was never very bad but rather anoying. Now after the two visits there are still coming but in smaller quantities. They assure me that the chemical they spray with is not harmful to humans and it will be all right with Nathaniel crawling, I do not quite buy that. We have to leave the premises for at least two hours after they arrive. I remember returning and just the smell of it had my head spinning as if I had 3 beers. It is not an easy choice.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

insomnia revisted

After crowing about how well I slept for the last few days, I had a bout of insomnia last night, not as bad as before.  But I had trouble falling asleep (lost about an hour) and was awake from 3-4 AM plus and ended up with about 4-4.5 hours of sleep.  Which isn't that bad, but 6-8 is a lot better.  Worse was I had fibro and neck pain during the night and was rotating my ankles and so on trying to relieve it.

I still think it is something I'm eating. Yesterday I had oatmeal and rice milk, whole wheat, turkey pepperoni and oat cheese, and chicken, zucchini and portatbella mushrooms and 3 prunes.

I discovered when I read carefully that the pepperoni has lactic acid in it, so I suspect that.  then maybe the wheat? 

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sleep and health

I tend to complain when I'm suffering but not think to celebrate the positive.  When I feel well, I'm busy with other things.  So I wanted to mention the grattitude.

I slept almost 8 hours last night and my fibro, asthma, and neck pain are all improved.  I'm MUCH better than I was in detroit or in B'ville when I first got home.  I'm so glad.

I hope you are well too!

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Who me?

Faceless doll by Shari Carter. Photo by Mary Stebbins Posted by Picasa

note from journal

I've been cleaning and cleaning today, mostly sorting, actually.  I threw out lots of cards, notes and letters including ones that made me very sad because they were written in the hand of people who've died, Judy, my Aunty Ann, Aunt Roberta and Uncle John and so on.  Very sad.

I will keep all the old journals I unearthed.  I opened each to be sure it actually was written in and not blank, and found this in one:

My first husband, Peter, told me that if I ever left him, he would follow me to the end of the earth, find me wherever I went, and kill me, slowly and painfully--and I believed him.  I had reason to.  He'd already followed me and found me when I tried to run away.  He'd beaten me, each time worse than the time before.  But I kept running.

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Friday, March 10, 2006


During the time I was very sick with Fibromylagia, I couldn't do anything, and stuff piled up. Now I am trying to get rid of it--spent the whole day so far sorting stuff, which makes the mess WORSE before it gets better. Sometimes I despair. Posted by Picasa

Insomnia, tonight' version

It's 3:34 Am and I have been lying in bed over three hours and have not slept a single wink.  Not one.

I was sleepy when I went to bed, but the CPAP was uncomfortable and kept leaking and blowing air in my face and I could not get it adjusted and finally got all woke up trying.  I won't enumerate all the issues, but I got that crawly feeling where it feels like bugs and worms are crawling on my skin.  And all itchy.

I tried lying there relaxing, imagining being caressed by loving hands, but though I had periods of sleepiness, I had not sleep and the restlessness returned.  It's boring and annoying lying there for hours, so finally, I just got up.

It worries me, because after days of this,or nights of it, how am I supposed to function? Get the house cleaned?  Get packed etc?  Besides which I feel tried and crappy.


I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats

Thursday, March 09, 2006

INSOMNIA! Again and again

I was going to take an ambien last night, but when I was going to bed, I was so tired and sleepy I thought I'd sleep OK and didn't take one.  But by the time I got the CPAP mask and tubing adjusted so it wasn't hissing I was wide awake and then couldn't sleep for hours.  It was frustrating.  I hate insomnia!

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats


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