Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tachycardia/arrhythmia Event

The Great Fish of Fear, by me

Tachycardia/arrhythmia Event Thursday, March 25, 2010, Report to Dr. Muna Beeai with questions

I was awakened at about 4:20 by BB’s alarm, went back to sleep, and woke up again around 5 AM or so with tachycardia/arrhythmia. It followed on the heels of a nightmare (scary dream), but may not be related to that. I felt a scary sense of pressure in my chest and my pulse was fast and irregular. It was not accompanied by vertigo. (I say this because I used to have incidents where the two came together.)

The event lasted 2.5-3 hours or so.

Brian P says he had such events before his thyroid was properly regulated and I wonder if mine is not properly regulated.

My previous Dr., Dr. Fazio in upstate NY, told me that in most cases, the generic drugs are comparable in their efficacy to the name brand drugs, but in the case of Synthroid, this was NOT TRUE and that the real Synthroid was better than the generic. I asked for the real thing but was given the generic. If it’s true that the real Synthroid is better, as Dr. Fazio said, perhaps I would do better with that? Can I be prescribed the real Synthroid, at least on a trial basis?

This was REALLY SCARY—I was frightened.

AND—it’s just one more annoying way to WASTE TIME and DEPRIVE me from my proper rest! (Even though I was scared and uncomfortable, I got bored lying there waiting for it to end.)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New Diet, 3-21-10

I have tried repeatedly to start a series of new diets an failed. I am trying again. Since the other diets didn't work, I am going to try the OA version of abstinence, which is difficult to stick to in society, but works if I do stick to it. A1, no white sugar, A2, no white flour

3-21-10: A1, A2 (but ate potato chips and a fair number of them.) GAINED weight. However, this is okay, if in fact I succeed in becoming abstinent.
3-22-10: A1, A2 (but ate popcorn in large quantities with canola oil and salt. See above for comments.) lost a few ounces.
3-23-10: critical day. If I can get through this day on A1 and A2, it should get easier.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Colorplay II

Colorplay II, by me (click to view larger.)

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

What if I am the Fairy who didn't get...

unfinished illo:  The poison spindle

What if I am the Fairy who didn't get invited to the wedding?

How do I avoid planting a poisoned spindle?

That actually happened to me, many years ago, when a friend got married and her husband wanted my boyfriends as his best man, but we'd just had a fight, so they decided that to avoid tension, they would not invite me.  I was incredibly hurt.  Our friendship was never the same after that.  I felt unloved and rejected.  I've tried and tried to forgive.  And have not succeeded as well as I would have preferred.

That's an ongoing issue for me that I'd like to resolve, but the current one is GB, who did not show up for his guitar lesson.  This is the boy who "doesn't consider me family," who stopped calling me "Mom," though he called me that for many years, who doesn't want me to adopt him.  Orphan boy.  But it's me calling to make him doctor appointments and me calling all around trying to find him so he won't miss his guitar lesson.  And there won't be any thank yous. 

Do I need them?  I probably shouldn't need them.  I should be able to rise above it all, to continue to be loving in the face of rejection--and I keep trying--but sometimes, it's hard.

Anyone know a way to detoxify a poison spindle?


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