Tuesday, March 09, 2010

What if I am the Fairy who didn't get...

unfinished illo:  The poison spindle

What if I am the Fairy who didn't get invited to the wedding?

How do I avoid planting a poisoned spindle?

That actually happened to me, many years ago, when a friend got married and her husband wanted my boyfriends as his best man, but we'd just had a fight, so they decided that to avoid tension, they would not invite me.  I was incredibly hurt.  Our friendship was never the same after that.  I felt unloved and rejected.  I've tried and tried to forgive.  And have not succeeded as well as I would have preferred.

That's an ongoing issue for me that I'd like to resolve, but the current one is GB, who did not show up for his guitar lesson.  This is the boy who "doesn't consider me family," who stopped calling me "Mom," though he called me that for many years, who doesn't want me to adopt him.  Orphan boy.  But it's me calling to make him doctor appointments and me calling all around trying to find him so he won't miss his guitar lesson.  And there won't be any thank yous. 

Do I need them?  I probably shouldn't need them.  I should be able to rise above it all, to continue to be loving in the face of rejection--and I keep trying--but sometimes, it's hard.

Anyone know a way to detoxify a poison spindle?

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