Friday, January 20, 2006

Flare-up with complications

You're walking back to your car in the dark and three thugs leap out of the bushes with baseball bats and begin whaling on you.  You crumple to the ground in pain, thinking everything is broken and you're probably going to die there.  They roll you around, take your wallet, you watch, your ring, a gold chain around your neck, which they yank on as if to sever your neck.  When they are satisfied they have everything if value (they even take your change), they take turns kicking you until you pass out.

The next thing you know, several worried people are leaning over you, asking if you're all right.  The answer is no, you're not really all right.  But it's determined that you have no broken bones.  Everything hurts.  It hurts terribly.   You can hardly bear to move.

Well, that's how I feel.  Right now.  I am having a fibromyalgia flare-up that is really bad and everything hurts. 

Everything, inside and outside of my body.  My muscles, ligaments and innards hurt.   I cannot sit, stand or lie down in comfort.  I move around, trying to find some position that doesn't hurt.  In vain.  And yes, I was robbed yesterday, in more ways than one.  $24 was missing from my tolls container in the car, I got a ticket for an uninspected vehicle that will probably cost an arm and a leg before it's settled, and my camera got run over—perhaps by a snowplow or a car, and it is crushed and wet and probably ruined.  I am very depressed.

I felt terrible when I arrived here yesterday and I feel as bad or worse today.  Here are some possible factors:

Ø       Exercise helps my fibro and I didn't get any yesterday and the day before I didn't get enough

Ø       The CPAP helps my fibro, and I fell asleep without it last night and slept until 3 AM without it on.

Ø       The air filter was not running in the bedroom last night

Ø       I am excruciatingly affected by stress and was very stressed out by the long drive, being stopped twice by cops, the missing money and so on.

Ø       I ate out with Sara on Wednesday night.  I am very sensitive to eating out because there are unknown foods in the dishes I'm served and I almost always get sick after I eat out.  I ate:  Liver with onions, bacon, red pepper and brown gravy, home fries, salad with iceberg lettuce, croutons, carrots, tomatoes and Italian dressing.  Water with lemon.  Almost everything on that list is a food I am supposed to avoid, except the carrots.

Ø       I drove all day yesterday and always feel pretty terrible after driving all day.

Ameliorating factors:

Ø       Keith gave me a backrub and neck and head rub last night, which helped some.  It felt good, very good.  The problem is, I need to be rubbed constantly until the pain goes and no one has that much energy.  I'm sure it helped some, but I still feel terrible!

Ø       I had no coffee, chocolate or desserts, which tend to make things worse.

Food log:

Yesterday (1-19-06): 

B:  omelet with mushrooms, broccoli, turkey pepperoni and fake cheese, toast with bran and margarine, prunes.

L:  Two small turkey sandwiches on grain bread with margarine, a largish empire apple, prunes.

S:  hickory smoked beef jerky, a few crackers (Stoned wheat thins)

D:  porterhouse steak, stir-fry of squashes and mushrooms, 1 Ithaca Apricot wheat beer, a few potato chips.

The day before yesterday (1-18-06):

B:  Oatmeal with bran, rice milk, raisins, prunes

L:  Open faced tuna sandwiches on hemp bread with margarine, no mayo, prunes

D:  Liver with onions, bacon, red pepper and brown gravy, home fries, salad with iceberg lettuce, croutons, carrots, tomatoes and Italian dressing.  Water with lemon. 

1-17-06—the farther back I go, the hazier my memory.

B:  omelet with mushrooms, broccoli, turkey pepperoni and fake cheese, toast with bran and margarine, prunes.

L:  Chicken Stir-fry with broccoli and mushrooms

D:  Chicken soup, same ingredients (I think)

I'm supposed to keep a food journal, but when I'm feeling well and happily busy, I "forget".  I need to know what I eat when I feel well and what I eat when I feel bad.  What foods are safe and what not.  I'm also supposed to keep a sleep journal, but it is hard to stay motivated.

I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats


Sara said...

OK, I'm beginning to think we shouldn't eat at Danzer's anymore. You've described two separate horrible flare-ups possibly triggered by meals there just on this page! And you had different entrees, with only the salad and the potatoes overlapping. What about Italian dressing is on the watch list? Vinegar?

Anyway, I think we should avoid the place for a while. I don't like being complicit in your pain. The convenience factor is not worth this misery.

Sara said...

One more question... I know you don't like to use the Ambiens, and pretty much only use them before & after long drives, but I was wondering if you took one during a bad flare-up like this if it would help you feel better faster. Your body needs sleep to heal itself.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Did I say Italian Dressing? I don't remember that. When I am really sick, I am always casting around for the cause of it. I am feeling somewhat better today. Thank goodness.

Sometimes I think I just shouldn't eat out at all becaes almost every time I do I get sick. I don't know why. It is very annoying. BUT I want to have time to spend with you and sitting and talking over a meal seems like the easiest way. We can talk better afer we leave Loretto, because Grandma glazes over if we talk too much when we're with her. Walking would be good, but no one seems to want to walk any more and it is hard to find a good place to walk at all.

My sleep doctotr, Dr. Flintrop, tells me, and also read that elsewhere, that taking sleep meds actually interferes with the quality of your sleep and they only should be taken for emergencies IF AT ALL.

christina said...

thank you for posting this. the exact same things happen to me! everything seems so random so it's nice that I'm not the only one it happens to.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I am feeling much better at the moment. I was thinking I was feeling BAD, and casting around trying to figure out why, but when I read this, thanks to you commenting, I remember how much it is sometimes. But it is also much better sometimes.

Marlene said...

I also have fibromyalgia, and have had a horrible bad flare-up for the last 5 months. They seem to stretch on into forever. And now I'm suffering from a deep dark depression that's so crippling.
I am trying to be positive and happy and trying to keep moving. It's hard hard hard.

thanks for this blog, it's helpful to feel that you are not alone in this battle. And that others are and have been in similar situations. Take a deep breath, sigh, and keep one foot in front of the other. Baby steps is a comforting thought.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Dearest Marlene, I wish you health and healing.

I am feeling substantially better in general, but I still have flare-ups.

I have eliminted the following foods. Maybe I should do a post: dairy, soy, sugar, white flour. Most flare-ups come if I eat one of those foods. But there are still fare-ups when I am "good" (that is, eating "right".) I don't know what yet.

Maybe I never will--but I hope you feel better.


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