Hunger: Fan Abstract 2

Hunger: Fan Abstract 2, by Mary Stebbins Taitt, click iamge to view larger. 

After 1 PM and stil no breakfast

When I woke up this morning, the small patch of sky I could see through the bedroom window was blue and I thought, good, I can finally mow the lawn--not that I like mowing the lawn, but it needed it.  But the radio said rain and the sky turned out to be cloudy and there were water droplets on the leaves, but it wasn't actually raining, so as soon as I did my sit-ups and fibro exercises, I went out to mow.  Without eating breakfast.  My hour was not nearly up from taking the synthroid, so I couldn't have eaten anyway.

The lawnmower started up on the second try, some sort of miracle!!!  It took me 40 minutes to mow the lawn.  It was so saturated from three days of rain that the wheels left muddy tracks!  On the end of the last lap, the lawnmower wheel feel off.  I could not find the cotter pin or whatever it is that should be holding the wheel on.

While I was mowing, I noticed that the small trees and bushes and grass had grown up so much on the "island" that the next door neighbors would have trouble seeing when they were backing up so after I finished mowing and cleaned the mower and dragged it limping into the garage, I looked for the loppers.  Couldn't find the new ones, assume they must have gone back to Detroit because we were planning on being moved by now, so I used the old ones and lopped away at the bushes.  It took a lot longer than I thought, and I didn't really complete the job.  I made t much better, but not the way it should be.  But I quit because I have other things I need to do!

I made a large pile of stuff, and when I went into the garage to find the yard waste bags, I couldn't find any.  I had some of my own and you had brought some, but none were in evidence.  Did they go back to Detroit, or have they been moved somewhere?

I left the pile in the driveway.

I came upstairs to write this note--sweating and sticky, it's hot and humid and of course, no air conditioning.  I have to take a shower, I'm all slimy and disgusting!  But I haven't had breakfast yet and I am hungry!!!  It's after noon!

By the time I eat and shower, the day will be half gone and I won't have gotten any cleaning or packing done!!!

I'd prefer not to waste time on yardwork, and not to have you waste time on yard work, because that's not getting me moved, BUT there are certain things that must be done!

Then, since I was on-line, I decided to post my BP picture, that gallery picture I'd worked on for the Redhouse.  And of course, there was email.

Issues with food.

So I had an unneeded late night snack last night after midnight, but then, had nothing else until after 6 PM today, just wasn't hungry.  Decided to have breakast even thought it was evening.  I don't think eating like that is very good for me and I'd like to get regulated.

--
I am certain of nothing but the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination- John Keats
Mary

Gallery One

Gallery One, by Mary Stebbins Taitt, click image to view larger.

I am not happy with this but I don't have any more time to play right now. I would like to work on it some more or start over when I have time.

I went to an opening Friday night at WCNY of Visual Arts Showcase #56 and, Ollie, my pocket camera, took this somewhat skewed picture of the gallery all by herself--without my permission! I pasted new pictures over the old ones (mine) and changed some other things like the color of the wall on the left. But it is too haphazard looking and I want to try again. But here it is for now, my first attempt. Hope to try agan soon.

for Monday ArtDay.

There are two more versions of this, one at amarypoem and one at IMAGIK.

Bingeing

Last night I had a little binge.  It's the first one I've had in a really long time, and I hope it's the last.  It all started with those missing candies, four little candies I'd purchased that had disappeared.  I want down after saying goodnight on IM.  It was past midnight and I just wanted one of them.  But I couldn't find them.  I ate the rest of a bag of corn chips from my trip and several bowls of cereal.  It was an extra meal I didn't need and I was upset with myself afterwards.  I hope I don't do it again.

wasting time! Grrr!

I downloaded a lot of pictures last night and deleted them from my camera so I thought I'd burn them to CDs. The first one said it was created successfully, the second one didn't, so I made 2 copies of the first because there was a movie Graham made and I wanted to send it to him. But now Toby won't read any of those 4 discs or one I'd made another time--I don't know if the discs are blank/ruined or there is something wrong with Toby and meanwhile I've wasted all this time dorking around! AK!

Zombie

I didn't get to bed last night until 3 AM and then couldn't sleep because I was so wired from all that driving and from the coffee and chocolate I took to stay awake driving.  After I went to bed, I lay awake for hours until I was too bored to lie there any more and then got up.  But I am such a zombie I am having trouble attempting to arrange the complex elements of my day.  Or, at least to my tired mind they seem complex!  Lack of sleep makes me clumsy and stupid.

An Aurora of pain

An Aurora of pain, by Mary Stebbins Taitt. Click image to see larger. See more from the aurora series. 

Another bad night

Yesterday I had really bad hips (lots of pain) and feet. Last night I had hours of sleeplessness accompanied by itchy skin, crawly skin sensations ("heebie-jeebie!"), stomach ache (sometimes bad) followed this AM by semi-squirt poops. Yesterday I had a small serving of lentil soup and the day before I had two larger ones. I suspect the soup because of the lentils relationship to soy, which causes the same symptoms. But I didn't have much of it yesterday. (Could it be the celery?)

More Banners--this one for Digimagik

It's 2:27 PM and I haven't gone to bed because I can't sleep. So I did this, created a banner for page 8 orf my Digimagik website. I kind od like it and it expresses what insomnia feels like. 

Tacchicardia

This morning early, while still attmpting to sleep, I had another attack of the heebie-jeebies.  This was followed by a scary lengthly attack of tacchicardia!  Also excessive peeing.  I just want to be healthy!  Scary.

It ain't purty

Last night I had insomnia and what I call the "heebie jeebies," (Slang A feeling of uneasiness or nervousness; the jitters.  It comes with a feeling of things crawling on my skin, like bugs), not as bad as sometimes, but still enough to give me a restless itchy night with less than optimum sleep (and that's a bit of an understatement.) Don't read this if mention of bodily functions grosses you out (but I just had a super bad case of squirt poops and I believe it was connected to last night's heebie-jeebies.)

Yesterday I didn't eat much.  Was it connected to something I ate yesterday, or even the day before?   All I ate yesterday was:  oatmeal, raisins, rice milk cheerios, puffed Kamut, and blueberry chicken sausages.  I have eaten all those things before without a problem, I believe.  But now I have reason to believe that one or more of them could be making me sick.

The day before I had a ham and broccoli omelette with oat cheese and then I had fried oysters, calamari, paella, and root beer (and a little beer beer.)  The day before that I also had an omelette, only with hot Italian sausage instead of ham and with mushrooms.  And for dinner I had grilled shrimp and spinach salad and garlic toast (which probably had butter on it) and a virgin pina colada.  I don't know how far back I have to look to find what caused the problem.  Too bad I can't mark each meal with colored markers and then if I have a problem I at least know what meal it was associated with.