After a period of sleeping somewhat better and feeling somewhat better, I am now in my third night of insomnia and getting increasingly tired. I'm annoyed and sad to be awake after 2 AM. I want to be asleep! I want to be asleep now.
I don't know what causes the insomnia to go away or to come back, but I do know that when I have it, it messes up my life. I get cranky and irritable, I'm tired and get less done, I feel rotten, my fibromyalgia gets worse.
I'm inclined to blame it on diet, but can't pinpoint what. I had white bread and garlic today in the spaghetti. I had dairy yesterday, not much, but a little. I've been eating bread.
BB tries to blame it on worry.
I am worried, but not horribly. I am worried about:
- BB's job/our financial security
- the mess
- the Rolandale house
- the squirrel
- Donna/Donna's death/the celebration
- my writing projects/getting done/getting published
- my aging and health
- my feeling overwhelmed (a result, in part, of not getting enough sleep!)
- my diet
- my insomnia! (AK!) (Vicious circle!)
I'm going to try to go back to bed. If I am still awake a half hour after I go to bed, I may get back up--I'm not just awake, I'm agitated. Sometimes, I'm awake, but can lie there relaxed and rest--that's better than being agitated and unable to lie still.