Press here to make me cry (Impossible tasks)

I've been crying a lot this morning.

I just heard that someone I loved died.

Ruth Grenoble.

She was 88 and lived a long wonderful life, but I am still bereaved.
I wish she could have been with us even longer, healthy and happy.

I cried because I got a letter from another elderly friend, the one
who sent the clipping about Ruth's death. A nice letter.

I cried becase it is raining--HARD. And raining. And raining. And
wet and grey.

And I cried becase oif the impossible tasks--I seem to have a number of them.

One is the address change business for my numerous small stocks. Each
held somewhere where it is impossible to get someone on the phone or
get their website to work. They are threatening to take my stoocks
away becase of "abandonment!" And they won't leet me change my
address--it's been what 3-4 years and I've been trying and trying.
Calling and talking to customer service people who say they can't take
address changes on the phone as they have no way to verify I'm truly
who I say I am.

None of these stocks are wrth much, but they are mine. It's the
principle of the thing!

I was literally stewing about it when the mail came and ONE of the
stock companies, BNY Mellon, finally changed my address and sent me a
check for $23 from all the dividends I haven't received due to the
address change hassles. I know, not a lot of money, but hey! I'm
unemployed and every little bit helps!

I cried--in relief. I know, I know, I was crying earlier in
frustration becase it's literally been years.

And no, I am NOT having my period--I'm 62 years old and don't have
periods any more.

The stock thing is not over, there is more to go. The multiple others.

And then there is the house inspection thing. We need to get this
house in spected, the Rolandale House. But I called and called and
called and called and let the phone ring five minutes, ten minutes,
etc--no answer. Over and over. I was just settling down for another
long wait when someone picked up the phone and kindly andswered my
questions. When I hung up, I cried and dcried. It's not over yet.
It's only one of a long series of hurdles.

Why do things seem to be getting harder and harder?

I guess, in part, because I don't sleep at night. I'm tired and it
makes everythings seem harder and more stressful.

But bureacracies do seem to be much worse--it's so much harder to get
to talk to a real person. And the recordings and choices and menus
NEVER solve my problems! WHY?

And do I get a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine to soothe my
shattered nerves? NO! I can't.

But hey, I wrote two new poems last night and this morning. :-) :-D

More Stupidity

Piano Boy probably had a date.  He asked Biker Buddy to drive him to Borders and drop him off--it's 1.5-2 miles there from home, depending on the route you take.  When they got to Borders, PB took off his hoodie and tossed it in the back of the car.  He got out onto the street in his T-shirt.  The temperature at the point was in the teens and dropping.  BB stopped him and asked how he was going to get home and told him he'd get cold and should take his hoodie with him.  PB repeated his words in a mocking tone.  We were not going to be home for a while, and BB was genuinely concerned about PB's well being.

Late in the evening, PB arrived home.  He came in the door, greeted me cheerfully, and disappeared up the stairs.  It was about 8:05.  He's supposed to practice the piano at 8:30.  At 8:45, when he had not come down to practice, I went up to get him, and glowered in at BB who was reading on the couch, wondering why he hadn't sent PB down to practice.

"He's lying in bed groaning and whimpering and won't move,"  BB said.  "Maybe you can get him to go down."

I went in to investigate, and PB was curled in a ball under the quilt and several other blankets moaning and nearly crying.  I told him to get up and do his practicing--he's always coming up with excuses to skip practicing, so at first, I just thought he was crying wolf.  But he didn't budge and said he hurt all over.  Then I thought maybe he was getting sick, because BB and I both have had long bouts of a bad cold.  I reached in under the blanket and his body was like ice--utterly cold to the touch--and he'd been lying in bed under the covers for a long time. 

"Did you walk home from Borders in a T-shirt?"  I asked.  (I'd assumed he'd gotten a ride from someone, becasue he came in so cheerful.)  It was ten degrees out.  He did walk.  I made him sit next to BB on the couch, wrapped them both in a quilt, brought him a large cup of steaming hot chocolate.  I was genuinely frightened.  He could die of hypothermia if his core temperature falls to low.  I was near tears, but once he warmed up, I was furious with him.  We were home by the time he came home, he could have gotten a ride--he didn't ask.  He also could have dressed more wisely, obviously!

He lay in BB's arms for an hour and then went to bed without doing his practicing.  I drove him to school this morning.  He was dressed lightly in a T-shirt with a light long-sleeve under it.  I told him to at least put on a hoodie or his motorcycle jacket.  He said they were all at school except the one he left in Dad's car.  He has a dentist appointment this afternoon.  The dentist's office is a quarter of a mile FARTHER AWAY than Borders--in other words, about two miles from home.  I asked him if he wanted a ride home. 

"No," he said, "I'll walk."  I hope he puts on a few hoodies or his jacket.

I'm in a rage but--deep breath---ha ha ha ha!

Grrrr! I wish I had had a camera. PB called at 1:30 and said he needed his choir clothes. HELLO? I'd driven him to school because he said he needed his choir clothes and he took the Louis bag full of clothes--I could see the hangers.

Oops, wrong clothes.

"My CHOIR clothes," says, exasperated, as if I have all the details of his choir clothes memorized. I go upstairs, after telling him he's interrupting me.

"Name them," I say, grabbing the vest. The one with the sequins.

"The vest, the red one."

"Got it."

"The tuxedo vest."

Huh? We go through a bunch of shenanigans until I find the right thing.

"The white shirt."

"The tuxedo of course."

"Got it. Anything else?" I name what I've got. I name it twice.

"No that's it." I shove everything in a large bag and drive over. Honk multiple times and he finally comes out from Jay's in his Stewie PAJAMAS! Hello? (and it's VERY COLD out!) I hand him the bag, he says "Thanks," I leave.

I'm in the driveway when I hear the phone ringing in the garage.

"You didn't bring my pants."

"You didn't mention pants!" At this point I lose it, and yell and holler and say bad words. It's the second time I've said bad words this week when someone else might have heard them--in this case, Jay's Mom if she was nearby.

Then I go up, look in his closet, and have no idea what pants he want. I grab the navy blue ones, drive back over to Jay's, honk again. He comes running out--God I wish I'd had my camera handy and was quick with it--he comes running out with a tuxedo, a white pleated tuxedo shirt, a white tuxedo vest, and Stevie pajama bottoms flapping in the wind. LOL! What a sight to see!

I was laughing too hard to be angry at that point! But it took HALF hour two run back and forth including rummaging time. Which may not seem so bad but add it to the 45 minutes and that is an HOUR and 15 minutes of totally wasted time due to his carelessness and inability to listen to instructions. meanwhile, my lunch is burning!

YAY! An Acceptance! Wahoo!

Yay!  I just had an art piece accepted for an online peace site. More info to follow (I'm all excited!  YAY!)

I spent the entire morning in bed with this terrible cold, but now I am feeling somewhat better for the first time in several days.  Phew.  I'll probably fade again later, but feeling better even temporarily is a good thing.

good news and bad

The good news is I lost 5.7 pounds from yesterday.  The bad news is, I'm sick and that may be why.

"Misery"

OK, it is "just" a cold, but I am miserable.  I feel utterly rotten, my eyes are burning, I'm all bundled up because I'm cold, my nose is both stuffed up and running at the same time.  I am exhausted but I can't sleep because I can't breathe.  Sigh.

Morning report, 1-5-08

I gained 1.4 pounds! However, I forgot to mention yesterday, I think, because I didn't post my cogitations on the subject, that I am not "officially" starting my diet until a week from today--Monday January 11th, as I have Christmas and other items I have to use up first. Yesterday I finished my dates and my raspberry beer. I wish somehow these items could be either eliminated or somehow confined to the OLD year, so I could start dieting right away at the beginning of the new year after the holidays. I also ate 3 cookies left from the Christmas cookies I'd made for myself to help keep me out of the other Christmas treats. They were whole wheat barley cookies. And then I ate one of the ones with raisins and nuts I'd made for others. When I picked it up, I thought it was one of mine, but when I discovered it wasn't, I ate it anyway. That was no one's fault but mine. But I will eat no more of those and from this point forward as long as I can manage to stay on the diet, no beer or alcohol. No white sugar or flour. But I still have figs to eat. I want to get them eaten before next Monday. They are maybe half gone. They are very tasty yummy figs. I love them. They are also high in sugar content. This is the transition week, cutting back gradually. To make it easier to make the transition to dieting after the holidays. Tonight is Coney night. I do not want to go to the Coney and I hopefully will not be going again for a long time, as long as I can manage to stay on my diet. The boys will go without me. I will not be making more cookies and I hope to avoid social occasions that involve eating as much as possible until I am firmly established in my diet. The one exception is that we haven't seen S & J for a long time and if we have the opportunity to visit with them, I want to be able to do that.

Good News and Bad Regarding my Weight

Good News and Bad Regarding my Weight

It's the new year and time to try again to lose weight. The good news is that I weight 24 pounds LESS than I weighed a year ago. Yeah, I know, I don't look a bit different and I still look fat, but I do weigh less and my clothes are a little looser and more comfortable. The further good news is that I only gained about 8 pounds over the holidays from Thanksgiving through New Year's, which will be easier to lose again, I hope, than the 25 or so I gained last year over the holidays. The bad news is that I am about 20 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest during the summer, and I am sick with all the usual problems I get when I travel. I have a sore throat, probably from eating dairy products inadvertently. I have pain in my feet and joints etc., the usual, somewhat exacerbated by bad food. The good news is that it is not as bad as it often is after I travel. Worse than normal, but less worse. I attempted to be extremely careful.

I am starting a diet, gradually at first, but then escalating, I hope. I can never predict the course of these things, but I intend to keep trying. Health first, weight loss second. Exercise.

I will report back. I hope. Sometimes, I get so busy I just cannot keep track of things or blog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to You. :-D May 2009 be the best year yet for you personally and for the country and world.

We got back from a trip to New York last night and Piano Boy immediately left. He was told to come home at 8:30, but he never came home or called. I hope nothing happens to him. It's like the boy who cried wolf. If he's ever in real trouble, we won't be appropriately worried because he is so irresponsible. We won't be looking for him or calling the cops because it's become a habit for him to disobey.

We're having freezing rain. Thank God we didn't have it yesterday when we were traveling. Fear of bad weather and oncoming freezing rain turned out to be a source of a problem yesterday that caused pain, distress and shame. WAHN!

A not-so-funny comedy of errors

I just had a little comedy of errors that wasn't funny at the time but seems a little funny now. :-(

I was in the middle of ordering some shirts for my husband that he needs anyway (but I thought would be nice under the tree--a little extra to open), but right at a crucial point in the order, the phone rang. And remember that box I was sorting? I had emptied it out and it was sitting at the top of the stairs waiting to be carried down. It was now full of trash and dirt. And mung beans, loose.

We had gone to purchase Christmas gifts for one of the grandchildren and my daughter-in-law just called to ask what we'd gotten and to tell me she might have gotten the same thing. Running down to check so I could let her know, I bumped the box of trash which tumbled over and over down the stairs spewing dirt and trash everywhere--the PHONE also tumbled down the stairs! The one I was talking on--and I still have to clean up the mess. Meanwhile, the order went dormant because it times out and I had to start all over with it and my husband is due home any minute so I had to leave the trash and dirt and go back and start over with the order. The gift IS the same, so one of us has to return it--I was angry and told her she should return it since we got ours two weeks ago! I was angry because of all the other things that went wrong and meanwhile I am missing my lunch!

GM issues and PB issues

TODAY they are talking about a buyout for GM on Capital Hill--it would be good for US if GM doesn't go under.  Dunno if it's really good for the country, but we'd be in deep shit.  We'd lose BB's retirement, as well as his job and our medical.

Saturday night, PB did not come home and did not call to say where he was (or ask permission to sleep over).  This was particularly bad since he'd also had a sleepover Friday night AND he had his piano recital on Sunday--we were really worried he'd forget and not come back in time or be so tired he messed up but he at least come home in time and played reasonably well.

We've had a string of such incidents and we don't really know what to do.  He's already grounded.  But that doesn't stop him.  And his grades SUCK!  And it's upsetting and worrisome for us.