Wednesday, July 19, 2006

[No Polar Coordinates] Tears

well, I coudn't do it.  I was imagining posting favorites by date and creating an online journal in order.  Slowly, over a long perios of time.  Oh well.

I am always on the verge of tears. Now matter how calm, how gay, how joyous or happy I may feel, I always teeter at the brink of loneliness and sorrow. This sense of pain does not detract from my joy. I think it makes it all the more intense. Mary age 22

I was going to back post this to August 18, 1968, which was the date I wrote it, but they only allow backposts as far back as 1990. I was very disappointed.

Posted by taittems to No Polar Coordinates at 7/19/2006 12:58:00 PM


peacorpus said...

I suppose tears will always be a part of my emotions. HAPPINESS, as in intimately happy, hilarious, outrageously funny. SORROW, as in loss, a heartbreak, disappointment. RAGE, as in being unable to express what you feel exactly because someone superior is the cause of it, which is actually why I am almost always in a rage.

I am very happy now, but the tears come welling up every now and then because of the outpouring of love, for me, and from me.

You were very young when you wrote this, and I keep remembering if I myself had felt the same way. I suppose I did. That the tears were always on the verge of having the feeling of loneliness and sorrow. And yes, it does make it more intense. But we were very young then, and, this is only speaking for myself, at that age I probably was always in tears when it comes only to matters of the heart, not of anything else which I know will be taken cared of by the elders.

I love you Mary, and I would like to thank you for always looking after me, in the best way you can. I feel that, and Darwin had told me you really do, because he felt that too. And I will always be here for you too. I swear that, to all the hair i've got, ha ha!! (You know, "I swear, I got more hair!!! ")

Love you. And Keith, because he loves you so much. And that is something I feel deep in my heart, and know deep in my thoughts.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Whaat a wonderful, thoughtful post, Pea!!! So great to hear your ruminating on these delicate and delicious issues!!!

At 22, I was living on my own, but not really.

My parents were still helping me. But I thought a lot and wrote a lot and hope to have time to tympe in another post soon. Thnks for your thoughts!! Mary

PS I LOVE YOU TOO, and Darwin and Christa and Neal.

peacorpus said...

And we all love you. :-*

Darwin, Pea, Christa and Neal :)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...



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