Thursday, October 26, 2006

Touch

I was in bed almost 11 hours in order to get maybe 2 and half hours of sleep. 

Last night, after dinner, I had a terrible attack of fibromyalgia, the worst one in a long time.  My neck and shoulders were almost unbearably painful (I say almost unbearably painful because I did bear it—what choice did I have?).  I asked Keith to rub them and he did—it helped a little.  It did help.

I don't know what caused the fibro attack.  I have no idea what brought it on.  My guess is that I inadvertently ate something I'm allergic to.

Keith suggested a whole body rub, but I said no because I was working on something urgent and critical that I needed to finish.

A little while later, he wanted to go to bed, early, and asked me to come and have a rub.  At that point, even though I had more to do, I agreed.  That was a little after ten.  He gave me a full massage.  I had to tell him to let off a little at first, because it hurt so very much.  Usually I like a firm massage.  He built up to a little more.  When he quit, I asked him to do my shoulders one more time because they still hurt so much.  Then he rubbed my body gently, effleurage, caresses.  I felt much better, better but not well.  I was more relaxed and the pain and tension had subsided somewhat.  But I lay awake all night long.  I was still awake when he got up at 4:23 to go to work.  And I was still awake at 6:00 and at 6:23. 

I twisted and turned like a rotisserie.  The ligaments kept tightening and hurting worse and I had to move to stretch them.  Whatever side was down itched, and I had to turn to scratch it.  I probably kept Keith awake, or at least prevented him from sleeping well.  I was still better than some nights where I was so agitated I had to get up.  At least I lay in bed and got some rest of sorts.

All night I had watched the clock, 3:00, 3:07, 3:12, 3:17, etc.  I'd close my eyes, try to sleep, lay there for what seemed like a long time, and 5 minutes would have passed.  Finally, some time after 6:23, I dozed restlessly.  I got up at 9.  That's at least two hours of my day lost, to say nothing of my night.  I feel guilty to lose part of my day.  But if I didn't sleep for those two hours, I wouldn't have slept at all.

Everything hurts.  My body feels like a giant bruise.  Any move brings more pain.  It isn't quite as bad as it was last night.  The touch helped quite a bit.  But I need more of it, and Keith is at work, and I'm in a lot of pain.  Oh for some touch and a little relief.

2 comments:

Sara said...

I am sorry you had such a dreadful pain-filled night. I actually had a similar experience, only not from FM but a headache. I would doze for an hour, the pain would wake me up. At 6:23 the pain was the worst I have experienced in my entire life. It has receded somewhat now, but the aura is still there, so it's likely not gone yet.

When the pain is so bad, does the Ambien not work? I would take anything that would let me sleep through that pain, and I mean anything.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I'm sorry you had a dreadful night and all that horrid pain--wish it would go away.

WAHN--I want you to feel BETTER!

and stay that way.

My pain is still with me, though somewhat reduced. The ambien doesn't help at all when the pain is that bad. Once I took it with a good dose of tylenol and was dizzy all the next day. Afraid to try that again!

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